Here’s the situation. You’ve worked hard all week, everyone is still alive and healthy, the bills are paid (or will be), and now it’s time to ~~~CLEAN THE HOUSE.~~~  No matter what the kids ages are (although older is tougher), you DREAD in the most intense of ways even uttering the words, “Ok kids, let’s clean up the house and get the chores done,” or whatever your method is for delivering the perceived death sentence.  I hear this dread from parents all the time and I understand because it was the worst thing my Mom could say to me when I was a kid… instantly turning this Saturday morning soccer star into a fit throwing, convulsing, whining, death welcoming little pile of tears and grunts, and sent me stomping off to my room mumbling something about how I was going to die and cleaning is soooooo boring!

Tell me she didn't just say what I think she said!

 No one wants to start their weekends off with that kind of drama but it keeps happening… and for some, the weekend doesn’t even start until that drama-sode is over!  How sad is that?  Well, here are some things to think about to help you muster up the energy and courage to embark on your next quest for a cleaner, tidier household and stop the next round of stomach virus sharing

1)      Congrats! – You deserve an award for even asking your family to help with the keeping of the castle!  You have already saved yourself from the wrongs of just doing it all yourself because “you want it done right and as quickly as possible.”  So here’s your trophy   

 

Winner!

 2)      Whether you’re getting much help with cleaning or not, deep down there is a feeling of guilt.  That guilt stems from the idea that you should be doing more for your family and you really should be doing a better job of keeping the house clean and beautiful.  You may even go so far as to think you’re wrong to expect help.  That’s all in your head…SCRAP IT!   Your family will pick up on that and you will not be able to approach the subject with the level of confidence necessary to solicit the help you need, hence… increased drama!

 

 

3)      You are teaching your kids so much more than how to clean!  This is teamwork!  You’re teaching them team building skills, social skills, communication, good hygiene, time management, organization, respect….it’s practically endless.   You are helping them build habits that will serve them well the rest of their days on this planet… you are being a great parent!!!

Success

So, the next time you get ready to announce the castle cleaning, smile and think of it this way… it’s not so much about the cleaning, really.  Focus on the end result… GOOD HABITS taught by you, the GREAT Parent!  You’re kids may start to realize it’s not really that big of a deal and the more they do it the faster they get and the less they have to think about it.  REALITY BONUS: They might even realize that keeping up with things a little better during the week makes cleaning day wayyy easier!  Triumph!

REMEMBER:  You are a GREAT PARENT and the drama is all in their heads… not yours!

TKMom

 

Here is an example of what I mean:

At the pool today, I gave all 3 of my kids a very direct expectation that when 7:30 came,  I would signal them to get out of the pool to dry off and get ready to go home.  Two of the three were messing around and jumped back in the pool a couple of  times but the third child stayed out of the pool from the moment I waived the signal and walked over to me to dry off and go home (surprisingly, not the one I would have guessed).  That child was told he would get an extra scoop of ice cream for dessert while the other two got the normal allotment.  The two non-compliant kids looked at me with perplexity because they weren’t really being punished but they didn’t get the reward either.  They could not really complain or protest because of the obviousness of their lack of concern for the respectfully and clearly laid-out request.  I have to admit, I was feeling pretty clever!

Victorious!

Take a big piece of paper and put a giant red X on it. This X goes on the floor in the middle of the room and an unknown reward written on a small piece of paper goes underneath (don’t let them see this part). The reward should be something of particular interest to the mates involved in the adventure (this promotes auto-participation in the next adventure, of which there will surely be one). Everyone gets to pick a pirate name of course and they must speak in their best pirate voices throughout the entire adventure. If they have pirate dress-up clothes – by all means let them dress for the occasion!

All of the items around the ship(room) that are causing the ship’s deck to be a wreck are picked up and placed on the big red X. I mean everything from the clothes to stuffed animals to coloring books and so on gets piled on this X. Once the pile is complete – the mates look around the room and put away any remaining debris hanging around.

Now it’s time to get to the bottom of the pile and find out what is under that big red X! This is when you let the mates know there is treasure under that red X and they can’t see what it is until all the items in the pile are put in their proper place and the red X can be lifted. They will be scooting around the room like little deckhands in a hurry. If you have any pirate songs on CD play those too!

Side note: make sure the reward is something that can be redeemed fairly quickly after the task has been completed. Not trying to promote instant gratification but for this tip – the quicker the better on the reward end. Total prep time is about 4 minutes to get this rolling.

This little gem also works well with a cowboy theme -YEEHAAA MATES!

TKMate

We have 3 kids and they cover the full spectrum from Mighty Tidy to Tornado.  The little one (girl) is an absolute wiz at tidy, and let me tell you, she has taught us all a thing or two.  The oldest, also a girl, reminds me of a phrase my parents used quite often when referring to my organizational skills, “You’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached to your shoulders.”  And then there is the middle child (boy), who will clean up his room but then it’s sectioned off like a museum so nothing gets move from its sacred spot.  I find myself creeping tip toe through his room so as not to knock over one of his very deliberately placed toys.  These are, after all, very strategically placed and trust me he’ll notice if Mr. Bionicle™ has moved to a vulnerable position against the great Bakugan™ foe… it’s a battle of epic proportion!

We run the gamut from, the total standoff… “clean up or perish”, to “oh the heck with it, my room is a mess too and I’m tired”!!!

Regardless if you’re dealing with kids who take to it instinctively or those who fight it every step of the way, breaking tasks down into smaller “bite size” chunks is a vital step towards success.  For example, if you have a child who’s room looks like a cyclone hit it and the mere mention of the words “clean up your room” turn your once sweet, good natured child into a convulsing, melt down having, professional whiner who you begin to refer to as your husband’s (or wife’s) child….here is a suggestion that will help.  

Day one: start with making the bed only.

Day two: make the bed and pick up 5 things off of the floor.

Day three:  make the bed, 5 more things off the floor and 5 items to be thrown away or donated to charity.  (you can make it 3 things if 5 starts to point you towards whiner territory)

Day four: make the bed, 5 things off the floor and 5 items to be trashed, stored or donated… starting to get the idea??? When these tasks are being completed, let your kids dress up in play clothes or listen to fun music… anything to promote a little use of the imagination. 

A cyclone is just too overwhelming a task to think of cleaning up all at once.  If you can live with the mess for a few more days and let them make smaller strides towards cleaning it up… you will have truly accomplished something and so will they!

TKMom

You can even have a 30 min or 60 min Tidy for the whole house and involve the whole family. This allows the parents to set a good example and let the kids see that they aren’t the only ones with chores. Turn on some music and make it fun. Give the heavy and high chores to parents or older siblings and assign age appropriate tasks to the kiddos. They can dust, dust mop, vacuum and pick up the various toys, books, video games and other clutter that accumulates during the week, even if they aren’t the ones who left it out. What a concept! A reward for the whole family like a trip to the park, the movies, or a favorite lunch spot will help keep the focus for the Tidy Hour.