For those with multiple “blessings,” may this be as successful a tool for you as it was for me. When making specific and direct requests of your kids – instead of putting the focus on the one who is non-compliant by threatening consequences, assign a special reward to the one that complies quickly and thoroughly.
Here is an example of what I mean:
At the pool today, I gave all 3 of my kids a very direct expectation that when 7:30 came, I would signal them to get out of the pool to dry off and get ready to go home. Two of the three were messing around and jumped back in the pool a couple of times but the third child stayed out of the pool from the moment I waived the signal and walked over to me to dry off and go home (surprisingly, not the one I would have guessed). That child was told he would get an extra scoop of ice cream for dessert while the other two got the normal allotment. The two non-compliant kids looked at me with perplexity because they weren’t really being punished but they didn’t get the reward either. They could not really complain or protest because of the obviousness of their lack of concern for the respectfully and clearly laid-out request. I have to admit, I was feeling pretty clever!
- I would not have guessed correctly at who would comply and who would not.
- I was able to remain calm throughout the scenario and that felt great!
- The compliant child was surprised because he got an unexpected thank you for his respect of the request.
- The two non-compliant kids were surprised by the realization that sometimes you may miss out on something good by being reckless with respect, even if you get away with it at the time :)
Victorious!
