Here’s the situation. You’ve worked hard all week, everyone is still alive and healthy, the bills are paid (or will be), and now it’s time to ~~~CLEAN THE HOUSE.~~~  No matter what the kids ages are (although older is tougher), you DREAD in the most intense of ways even uttering the words, “Ok kids, let’s clean up the house and get the chores done,” or whatever your method is for delivering the perceived death sentence.  I hear this dread from parents all the time and I understand because it was the worst thing my Mom could say to me when I was a kid… instantly turning this Saturday morning soccer star into a fit throwing, convulsing, whining, death welcoming little pile of tears and grunts, and sent me stomping off to my room mumbling something about how I was going to die and cleaning is soooooo boring!

Tell me she didn't just say what I think she said!

 No one wants to start their weekends off with that kind of drama but it keeps happening… and for some, the weekend doesn’t even start until that drama-sode is over!  How sad is that?  Well, here are some things to think about to help you muster up the energy and courage to embark on your next quest for a cleaner, tidier household and stop the next round of stomach virus sharing

1)      Congrats! – You deserve an award for even asking your family to help with the keeping of the castle!  You have already saved yourself from the wrongs of just doing it all yourself because “you want it done right and as quickly as possible.”  So here’s your trophy   

 

Winner!

 2)      Whether you’re getting much help with cleaning or not, deep down there is a feeling of guilt.  That guilt stems from the idea that you should be doing more for your family and you really should be doing a better job of keeping the house clean and beautiful.  You may even go so far as to think you’re wrong to expect help.  That’s all in your head…SCRAP IT!   Your family will pick up on that and you will not be able to approach the subject with the level of confidence necessary to solicit the help you need, hence… increased drama!

 

 

3)      You are teaching your kids so much more than how to clean!  This is teamwork!  You’re teaching them team building skills, social skills, communication, good hygiene, time management, organization, respect….it’s practically endless.   You are helping them build habits that will serve them well the rest of their days on this planet… you are being a great parent!!!

Success

So, the next time you get ready to announce the castle cleaning, smile and think of it this way… it’s not so much about the cleaning, really.  Focus on the end result… GOOD HABITS taught by you, the GREAT Parent!  You’re kids may start to realize it’s not really that big of a deal and the more they do it the faster they get and the less they have to think about it.  REALITY BONUS: They might even realize that keeping up with things a little better during the week makes cleaning day wayyy easier!  Triumph!

REMEMBER:  You are a GREAT PARENT and the drama is all in their heads… not yours!

TKMom

 

I don’t know about anyone else out there but school hasn’t even started yet and I’m already starting to shudder at the thought of all that schoolwork flooding in my door and onto the kitchen table and every other flat surface in the house.   I love to see the progress my 3 little geniuses are making in school but that coupled with the mail can quickly become a literal paper mountain.  We have trays set up for the kids to minimize the scatter during the week and it works like a charm.  “Scan-Man” takes us one step closer to spacial bliss

I have decided to start the “Scan-Man” up and get him rockin’ this year.  Each of us will have a folder on the computer for any papers we want to keep around but don’t necessarily need to have a physical copy handy.  Scanners are relatively inexpensive and you may want to pick up a paper shredder while you’re at it since you won’t need to FILE it anymore.  I get all fired up just typing that line   There will be plenty of sales coming up with school starting so keep your eye open for deals.  We’ll certainly post any we find!

Change is good!

Take a moment to think about how much paper storage you have in your house right now…. all of it… even in the attic!  This is 2009…make the change to storing it on the computer and free up some much needed space around the house.  Of course you will need to hang on to some precious items – don’t go scanning and shredding little Johnnie’s kindergarten art project. 

Can you feel the open space? 

TKMom

Space to moooove

Honey, I'm home!!!

I know you want the magic solution.  Just do ____________ and you’re ” not so tidy” significant other will be buzzing around the house scrubbing, vacuuming, dusting, disinfecting, sorting and folding.   Buy ___________ and never again will you come home from a short trip to a complete and total disaster area fit for yellow caution tape and a sign labeled “CONDEMNED.”

Well, there is no magic answer but I’d like to offer a few suggestions on how to approach the subject with your cave dwelling partner without getting into a knock down drag out.   One thing you may want to keep in mind if you are the Neat Freak (odds are the Messy Marvin’s aren’t reading this…just a guess) and that is PATIENCE… Rome was not cleaned in a day!

Common ground

The important thing is to make sure you have expressed how you feel about the clutter and your spouse has, at minimum, expressed they have heard what you’ve said and at least will try and understand how it makes you feel.  That is a huge step in the right direction.  Things may not change overnight but you can make progress and it’s not unusual for the whole family to begin to realize that tidiness is next to… well, you know

Imagine!

One step at a time… believe it and you will get there!

TKMom

Great!  So glad you are back and hopefully you have reached your senses and understand that “monkey see, monkey do” is more than just a quaint phrase.  We have all watched our kids emulate grown-up behavior and it’s no accident that children of all ages, socio-economic backgrounds, ethnicities, religions and on – all do it!  It’s UNIVERSAL!  They will emulate the good AND the bad no matter how much we try to tell them what to do and how to do it – they are WATCHING!

Let’s have a little therapy session, shall we ? (purple is a nice soothing color, right?)

So ask yourself this question, “Am I doing the things I am asking of my kids?”  I know, that was not nice was it?!  Depending on your answer, you are feeling somewhere between the June Cleaver type and the Tazmanian Devil.  If you are June Cleaver you may be thinking all is well with the world.  I’m not really concerned about offending any Junes out there because Junes are doing all the work themselves and probably aren’t reading this blog anyway.  As for the Tazs, you know who you are(admit it) and chances are you already feel bad enough about the state of your stuff, so let me approach this from somewhere around the Malcolm in the Middle area. 

You GOTTA do it!  Here are a few tips to get you started

• Start with making your bed, it’s big and just that alone makes a noticeable difference. 
• Then pick up everything off of the floor and pile it on your bed.  Set your timer for 7 minutes and don’t stop moving until it’s all put away, PROPERLY!  Yes you do only have 7 minutes so MOVE IT.  Don’t turn of the timer until your done.
• Next comes the dresser – what in the world is all that stuff doing up there?  Get a trash bag – half of it can be thrown away anyway.  If you are a pocket paper collector, get a colorful jar and use it to store your 80 million tiny pieces of paper that pile up on the dresser once you’ve purged your pockets - go through it once a month and purge old receipts, notes to self, etc.  
• One way to keep the bedroom from going bonkers is to Not Not Not bring anything in that is not bedroomy.  There is no reason for your gardening shoes to be in your closet or for the weeks mail to be on top of the 80 million little pieces of paper on your dresser.  If it doesn’t come in… it won’t have to be taken out.   Make it a rule, then follow it!

Make a chart, or get in touch with your inner child and use one of ours (major points with the kids).  Use it to make sure you pay at least 5 minutes of attention to your room everyday.  I can say from experience, 5 minutes a day is all you really need to keep your room from becoming the very thing your sweet little person uses against you when you ask them to clean theirs!

Take a big piece of paper and put a giant red X on it. This X goes on the floor in the middle of the room and an unknown reward written on a small piece of paper goes underneath (don’t let them see this part). The reward should be something of particular interest to the mates involved in the adventure (this promotes auto-participation in the next adventure, of which there will surely be one). Everyone gets to pick a pirate name of course and they must speak in their best pirate voices throughout the entire adventure. If they have pirate dress-up clothes – by all means let them dress for the occasion!

All of the items around the ship(room) that are causing the ship’s deck to be a wreck are picked up and placed on the big red X. I mean everything from the clothes to stuffed animals to coloring books and so on gets piled on this X. Once the pile is complete – the mates look around the room and put away any remaining debris hanging around.

Now it’s time to get to the bottom of the pile and find out what is under that big red X! This is when you let the mates know there is treasure under that red X and they can’t see what it is until all the items in the pile are put in their proper place and the red X can be lifted. They will be scooting around the room like little deckhands in a hurry. If you have any pirate songs on CD play those too!

Side note: make sure the reward is something that can be redeemed fairly quickly after the task has been completed. Not trying to promote instant gratification but for this tip – the quicker the better on the reward end. Total prep time is about 4 minutes to get this rolling.

This little gem also works well with a cowboy theme -YEEHAAA MATES!

TKMate