Here’s the situation. You’ve worked hard all week, everyone is still alive and healthy, the bills are paid (or will be), and now it’s time to ~~~CLEAN THE HOUSE.~~~  No matter what the kids ages are (although older is tougher), you DREAD in the most intense of ways even uttering the words, “Ok kids, let’s clean up the house and get the chores done,” or whatever your method is for delivering the perceived death sentence.  I hear this dread from parents all the time and I understand because it was the worst thing my Mom could say to me when I was a kid… instantly turning this Saturday morning soccer star into a fit throwing, convulsing, whining, death welcoming little pile of tears and grunts, and sent me stomping off to my room mumbling something about how I was going to die and cleaning is soooooo boring!

Tell me she didn't just say what I think she said!

 No one wants to start their weekends off with that kind of drama but it keeps happening… and for some, the weekend doesn’t even start until that drama-sode is over!  How sad is that?  Well, here are some things to think about to help you muster up the energy and courage to embark on your next quest for a cleaner, tidier household and stop the next round of stomach virus sharing

1)      Congrats! – You deserve an award for even asking your family to help with the keeping of the castle!  You have already saved yourself from the wrongs of just doing it all yourself because “you want it done right and as quickly as possible.”  So here’s your trophy   

 

Winner!

 2)      Whether you’re getting much help with cleaning or not, deep down there is a feeling of guilt.  That guilt stems from the idea that you should be doing more for your family and you really should be doing a better job of keeping the house clean and beautiful.  You may even go so far as to think you’re wrong to expect help.  That’s all in your head…SCRAP IT!   Your family will pick up on that and you will not be able to approach the subject with the level of confidence necessary to solicit the help you need, hence… increased drama!

 

 

3)      You are teaching your kids so much more than how to clean!  This is teamwork!  You’re teaching them team building skills, social skills, communication, good hygiene, time management, organization, respect….it’s practically endless.   You are helping them build habits that will serve them well the rest of their days on this planet… you are being a great parent!!!

Success

So, the next time you get ready to announce the castle cleaning, smile and think of it this way… it’s not so much about the cleaning, really.  Focus on the end result… GOOD HABITS taught by you, the GREAT Parent!  You’re kids may start to realize it’s not really that big of a deal and the more they do it the faster they get and the less they have to think about it.  REALITY BONUS: They might even realize that keeping up with things a little better during the week makes cleaning day wayyy easier!  Triumph!

REMEMBER:  You are a GREAT PARENT and the drama is all in their heads… not yours!

TKMom

 

I don’t know about anyone else out there but school hasn’t even started yet and I’m already starting to shudder at the thought of all that schoolwork flooding in my door and onto the kitchen table and every other flat surface in the house.   I love to see the progress my 3 little geniuses are making in school but that coupled with the mail can quickly become a literal paper mountain.  We have trays set up for the kids to minimize the scatter during the week and it works like a charm.  “Scan-Man” takes us one step closer to spacial bliss

I have decided to start the “Scan-Man” up and get him rockin’ this year.  Each of us will have a folder on the computer for any papers we want to keep around but don’t necessarily need to have a physical copy handy.  Scanners are relatively inexpensive and you may want to pick up a paper shredder while you’re at it since you won’t need to FILE it anymore.  I get all fired up just typing that line   There will be plenty of sales coming up with school starting so keep your eye open for deals.  We’ll certainly post any we find!

Change is good!

Take a moment to think about how much paper storage you have in your house right now…. all of it… even in the attic!  This is 2009…make the change to storing it on the computer and free up some much needed space around the house.  Of course you will need to hang on to some precious items – don’t go scanning and shredding little Johnnie’s kindergarten art project. 

Can you feel the open space? 

TKMom

Space to moooove

Honey, I'm home!!!

I know you want the magic solution.  Just do ____________ and you’re ” not so tidy” significant other will be buzzing around the house scrubbing, vacuuming, dusting, disinfecting, sorting and folding.   Buy ___________ and never again will you come home from a short trip to a complete and total disaster area fit for yellow caution tape and a sign labeled “CONDEMNED.”

Well, there is no magic answer but I’d like to offer a few suggestions on how to approach the subject with your cave dwelling partner without getting into a knock down drag out.   One thing you may want to keep in mind if you are the Neat Freak (odds are the Messy Marvin’s aren’t reading this…just a guess) and that is PATIENCE… Rome was not cleaned in a day!

Common ground

The important thing is to make sure you have expressed how you feel about the clutter and your spouse has, at minimum, expressed they have heard what you’ve said and at least will try and understand how it makes you feel.  That is a huge step in the right direction.  Things may not change overnight but you can make progress and it’s not unusual for the whole family to begin to realize that tidiness is next to… well, you know

Imagine!

One step at a time… believe it and you will get there!

TKMom

We have 3 kids and they cover the full spectrum from Mighty Tidy to Tornado.  The little one (girl) is an absolute wiz at tidy, and let me tell you, she has taught us all a thing or two.  The oldest, also a girl, reminds me of a phrase my parents used quite often when referring to my organizational skills, “You’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached to your shoulders.”  And then there is the middle child (boy), who will clean up his room but then it’s sectioned off like a museum so nothing gets move from its sacred spot.  I find myself creeping tip toe through his room so as not to knock over one of his very deliberately placed toys.  These are, after all, very strategically placed and trust me he’ll notice if Mr. Bionicle™ has moved to a vulnerable position against the great Bakugan™ foe… it’s a battle of epic proportion!

We run the gamut from, the total standoff… “clean up or perish”, to “oh the heck with it, my room is a mess too and I’m tired”!!!

Regardless if you’re dealing with kids who take to it instinctively or those who fight it every step of the way, breaking tasks down into smaller “bite size” chunks is a vital step towards success.  For example, if you have a child who’s room looks like a cyclone hit it and the mere mention of the words “clean up your room” turn your once sweet, good natured child into a convulsing, melt down having, professional whiner who you begin to refer to as your husband’s (or wife’s) child….here is a suggestion that will help.  

Day one: start with making the bed only.

Day two: make the bed and pick up 5 things off of the floor.

Day three:  make the bed, 5 more things off the floor and 5 items to be thrown away or donated to charity.  (you can make it 3 things if 5 starts to point you towards whiner territory)

Day four: make the bed, 5 things off the floor and 5 items to be trashed, stored or donated… starting to get the idea??? When these tasks are being completed, let your kids dress up in play clothes or listen to fun music… anything to promote a little use of the imagination. 

A cyclone is just too overwhelming a task to think of cleaning up all at once.  If you can live with the mess for a few more days and let them make smaller strides towards cleaning it up… you will have truly accomplished something and so will they!

TKMom